From a 1960 speech in Havana by Fidel Castro before a crowd of 500,000 Cubans:

Fidel: "Do you want ELECTIONS????"

500,000 Cubans: "NOOOOOO!!!"

11/03/2004 ~ 12:45 am

The Battle for Small Minds

Lament of a Sore Loser

My fellow Americans:

The stupidest presidential campaign in history has reeled to a close like a demented carnival ride. We have revisited the Mekong Delta, reviewed the lies and absent WMDs ad nauseam, kissed babies, partied with an awol bigshot's brat in Tennessee, flipflopped, misled, stayed the course, judged endless quien es mas macho contests to pick the scrappiest little soldier in the war on terror. We've strained our ears to hear a single hint of relevance, the smallest oblique reference to the actual world or America's place in it. There has not been so much as a sideways glance out of the ugly solipsism that grips our brains.

Consistent with the all-or-nothing philosophy of the Electoral College, the future of the earth has been written by the vast middle herd of undecided, morally confused, cognitively arrested ungulates of fogbound America. I do not believe there has been election fraud. I believe that George Bush truly represents the American people, that he embodies our belligerence and stupidity, our gluttonous, calloused, murderous embrace of everything dark and torpid and evil. America, its people and its president, are today one and the same. Other nations will no longer ask "How can you tolerate this outrage from your government?" They will see Americans themselves as the enemies of peace, and they will be correct.

We have not been deceived. Since the so-called "stolen" election of 2000, all masks have been off. Every act of slaughter, piracy and mendacity has taken place before the cameras, in broad daylight and in plain English, right out in front of us all. Today, and for the years leading up to today, we mandate these bastards to rape the world and ourselves as well. We approve it. We assent. By God, we are without excuse.

Our freedom has not been taken from us. We have offered it up. We will never have it back. In the future we will be the willing dupes of anybody with a bogus war and a mantle of authority, able to offer a line of bullshit and a slice of pizza. The "Democratic Party," which has never since 1968 been more than a puff of smoke, can no longer claim even the minor attribute of opacity. For want of the ability to speak the truth, they could not unseat the most colossal moral and fiscal fuckups in human history. And so we now belong to the fatcheeked, comicbookbrained likes of Karl Rove. If such obvious monstrosity and blatant thievery can not today be challenged, when might this ever occur? We have ceded carte blanche to open predators. We have handed over the steering wheel to representatives of our least rational, most reptilian nature. Our democracy may never have been a good thing, but the point is moot. The choice is no longer there. Like the newly won "liberty" of Bush's Iraqi people, our collective freedom has truly become a verbal cliché. What we have been endowed by our Creator is nothing more than demographic predictability. The direction of freedom, if it is to our advantage to seek it, if it is not another delusion, lies only within our private selves.

This evening is the moment to exit the fray. I renounce my citizenship. I give up on you. To the extent that I care enough about what becomes of you to write about it, I will chronicle your descent into perdition. And that descent, unlike today's election, is an absolute certainty. Your are out of touch with all the world. You are its enemy, your armor is a sieve, and you are going to crash. Ladies and gentlemen, I declare you too dumb to survive. I declare the American experiment a noble failure. I banish you from my tribe. You are foreigners. Your language and your customs are abominations to me. I will no longer oppose you or try to impede your agenda. I require only that you stay out of my house and keep with your own kind.

My own plan now is to spend more time in Canada and stay upwind of major population centers. I hope the new America is to your liking, and that the second Bush administration lives up to all your expectations.

Nitey nite,