9/22/02

Why Condi, I’m Glad You Asked!

Commenting on a reported statement by a supporter of Chancellor Gerhard Schröeder prior to today’s German elections, National Security Advisor Condoleeza Rice posed the question: “How can you use the name of Hitler and the name of the President of the United States in the same sentence?”


For Ms. Rice’s edification, here are some examples of how this can be done. Note that all of the following sentences are grammatically correct:

  • Both George W. Bush and Adolph Hitler were victors in popular elections, and did not seek to lead their countries in disastrous adventures of world domination.

  • Unlike Adolph Hitler, George W. Bush would never demonize his enemies in order to gain a consensus for exterminating them.

  • The use of the blitz, overwhelming force, to vanquish a country and its people, was a military technique used by Adolph Hitler, but rejected as too brutal by the military establishment of George W. Bush.

  • George W. Bush is not a xenophobic ignoramus like Adolph Hitler.

  • Hate speeches would never be used by George W. Bush to target large, vaguely defined groups of people, nor would he urge the broad use of lethal remedies against them, the way Adolph Hitler did.

  • The political ploy of diverting public attention from domestic disasters by inventing the need for foreign military campaigns was used by Adolph Hitler, but never by George W. Bush.

  • Because he is nothing like Adolph Hitler, George W, Bush has never authorized the execution of an innocent person or the bombing of an unarmed civilian.

  • Use of unprovoked, preemptive invasions to establish regional hegemony is a technique that George W. Bush did not learn from Adolph Hitler.

  • The extra-legal arrest and secret detention of accused enemies of the state, including their own citizens, is something Adolph Hitler and George W. Bush do not share in common.

  • Citing the threat of extraordinary danger, Adolph Hitler suspended many civil liberties and embraced a fascist political agenda, but not George W. Bush.

  • George W. Bush does not hate Arabs as much as Adolph Hitler hated Jews.

  • Whereas Adolph Hitler was an accomplished watercolorist, George W. Bush has no known skills.

  • Adolph Hitler’s concept of German racial superiority was not as legitimate as George W. Bush’s concept of America’s unique principles of freedom in establishing a natural right to world proprietorship.

  • Four examples of uneducated men with close set eyes and anti-intellectual grudges who used their power to become bullying unilateralists would certainly not be Auguste Pinochet, Slobodan Milosovich, Adolph Hitler or George W. Bush.

  • When you are prompted to think about it, George W. Bush and Adolph Hitler are really not at all alike.